I take my hat off to any single parent! WOW.. how they manage to be the sole care giver day in and day out with no live in support or backup I dont know!
I often get asked how I manage with my two terrors and I always jokingly reply "I drink!".. but truth be told.. I have the most incredible support and back up... the girl's father! Yes, thats right.. their dad.. he is INVOLVED.. I say this with much expression and enthusiasm because I know of a lot of fathers that are not involved at all with their kids day to day life. How sad is that? Anyway - their lose :) My husband as much as he struggles with much as the same issues I have about being a parent, is very much involved in the girls day to day life, from being their waiter, servant, toy, jungle gym and bather. He is there!!!
There are times when dad goes away on business trips and meetings etc and Im left alone with the kids for a few days and let me be honest... I hang onto sanity sometimes by a thin tread of hope, that their father has indeed just gone away for a few days and will be back and not run off into the blissful life that we once shared BC (before children), never to return or be heard of again. There are some days that I envy him, to just be able to escape into the real world with adults and adult conversations. Where holding a yellow bath duck to ones nose and screaming out in joy that "their nose is now yellow" is not the highlight of the evenings events. Or to be able to write an email (or a blog!!!) without having to jump up and turn on the passage light cause there is loud, mono whining moan coming from one of the bedrooms to "tuuuuuuuurn on the liiiiiiiiiight" just to be followed with "the liiiiiiiiiight is bothering meeeeee" from the adjacent bedroom. Arrrr... to be able to do what ever you want to do.. drink what you like without being nagged "I WANT SOME" or to go to the loo without knocking on the door followed by "MOOOOOMMMM.... Raiden hit me!!" or "MOOOOOOOMMMMMM I want juice" or "MOOOOOOOOMMMMM what are you doing?". The freedom of being able to get into your car and drive.. just like that! No fighting to get the kids into the car, then having to calm down the fighting about which car seat the other on is sitting in, having to then strap them both in, which normally involves circling the car at least 3 times for some reason. Then making sure you have all their bags in the car, then your own bag.. then reversing just to slam on breaks cause there is a shriek of "I WANT ANOTHER HUG FROM DADDY" - Im lucky if I can get out the house in under10mins. Going to the shops to buy bread and milk takes as much time and effort as doing monthly grocery shopping. Awwww...yes... I would love to be able to kiss my love goodbye, slap him on the ass and say "see you and the kids in 3 days" and just walk out the door... climb onto an aroplane and let my mind wonder about "adult stuff". However, in my heart.. as much as I envy the freedom my husband has.. I wouldnt and couldnt be able to do it. Not even for 1 night.. not ever! My kids are my life, they are my heart and they are my roots, my anchor and they hold the key to my soul. Being away from them is like being in a dessert without water. I would die.
When my husband returns from his trips, I sit back and silently watch.. Raiden storms into the room like an elephant trying to get to the waterhole first, latches onto her fathers leg with such intense force and excitement while Dillon will run up into her fathers arms and wrap her tiny arms around his neck. The joy and excitement radiates from them stronger than the brightest sun. Dillon pulls back to look at her daddy and tells him "I missed you daddy!" while Raiden is still latched onto his leg, jumping up and down laughing "DADDY, DADDY". My husband.. the man that I love and chose to spend the rest of my life with even before we had children.. wraps them both up into his arms and lifts them up for a group hug, while falling to the ground on his knees to protect them if they happen to fall from his loving grip. I sit there still in silence watching my family embrace and Im filled with such content love and emotion that I have to force back the tears that threatens to swell up in my eyes. I am doing exactly what I want to do and Im exactly where I want to be.... here... at home.... with my family!
